What If I'm the One?

I just got done watching To Save A Life for the second time.  I plan on watching it at least a couple more times this week.  Tonight it impacted me in a pretty special way.  I want to share my story a little...for those of you who may not know some things about me.

I was that kid.  I was the one that no one saw at school.  I was the one that was poked fun at.  I was the one that planned out my suicide.  For years I was alone.  God saved my life.

Right after I finished the movie, I turned on my new favorite song:  The One by Brandon Heath.  I know I’ve posted the lyrics before, but I’m going to post them again, because they are so powerful.  Here they are:

If I see one more light that's fading
Hear about one more broken dream
Pray for just one more faith that's dying
It's one too many

And if I see one more child walking
Just one more mile for water
If I wait one more minute longer
It's one too many

When I think of what could be
If we let our hearts believe
That it takes just one
Just one could turn this all around

And if we're living history
How will they think of you and me
If it takes just one, just one
What if, what if, what if I'm the one?

It takes one, takes one, one
It takes one, takes one, one
It takes one, takes one

If I hear one more widow crying
'Cause there's no one by her side
And if I see one more family breaking
It's one too many

If there's one thing that I'm sure of
If there's one thing that I know
You could be one in a sea of faces
Or you could be one more chance for hope
When I think of what could be
If we let our hearts believe
That it takes just one
Just one could turn this all around

And if we're living history
How will they think of you and me
If it takes just one, just one
What if, what if, what if I'm the one?

I see a nation without any walls
A beautiful haven for one and for all
I see a day when people are free
When shackles are broken and fall to the street

A voice, a cry, call out from on high
The first one of many, go lay down your life

It takes one, takes one, one
(What if you're the one)
It takes one, takes one, one
It takes one, takes one
(What if I'm the one)

The thing they said in the movie that really got my attention tonight was something that Pastor Chris said to Jake, “At some point you’re going to have to decide what you want your life to be about.”  That’s one of the most profound things I’ve heard in a while.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I stopped eating for a while.  I hated how I looked.  I hated myself.  I happened to be in a gym class at the time, and after a few days of doing this, I about passed out after class because my body was so weak.  My friend Heidi found out what I’d been doing and made me promise to her that I would stop.  I brought that conversation up to her not too long ago, and she can’t even remember that happening.  To her, it was just another conversation.  To me, it was everything.  Someone saw me and cared enough to help me walk away from something that was damaging me.

And what about missed opportunities?  What about regrets?  What if?

When I was a junior in high school, my friend committed suicide.  We weren’t incredibly close, but we had some significant chances to be.  I was just too busy.  I was too busy for her.

I was walking out of our Algebra class one day and I turned around and saw her.  We were alone in the classroom.  Our eyes met and God spoke more clearly than I’d ever heard:  “Talk to her.”  I turned around and walked out the door.  It wasn’t long after that when all of us were asking some tough questions.

I saw the signs.  I knew them like my best friend.  They were my best friend.  And I walked away anyway.

I’m crying right now.

At some point you’re going to have to decide what you want your life to be about.

Our lives on this earth carry far more significance than we know.  Sometimes we live like nothing we say or do matters.  However, it took one moment for my friend to see me sick and to step into my life.  It took me one moment to walk out the door of my Algebra class that day.  It doesn’t happen in the big moments. 

The big moments happen because of the little moments that did or didn’t happen.  A kid brings a gun to school.  A girl locks herself in the garage with a running car.  This didn’t just happen.  Who didn’t see him?  Who had the chance to talk to her one day and chose to walk away?

Or how about this big moment:  I’m alive today.

It may happen in a conversation you will never remember.  What have you decided that your life will be about?

I don’t believe that God believes in coincidence.  You are where you are for a reason.  The people who are in your life are there for a reason.  We can't afford to live life any other way.

Who around you needs to be seen today?

It takes just one to turn this all around.  What if I’m the one?