Maybe No, Maybe Yes

I have been struggling with something recently and I didn’t know who to talk to about it, so I decided to put it on my blog.  I feel like God is asking me to do something, but I’m not sure what to think of it.

Some of you know that about a year ago I started writing a book.  I was about half done when I felt a halt in my spirit, like God had to teach me something before I could continue writing.  Recently, I felt that God was calling me to write again, and I’m wrestling with what subject to write about.

First of all, I’m 23 years old, so what could I possibly have to say that has not already been said, and what authority do I speak on?  I’m so young.  However, I can’t ignore the calling of God.  I’ve been thinking a lot about my passions in social justice and my calling to orphan care and rescue and rehabilitation to victims of human trafficking.  I have been researching sex trafficking, and I feel that it is a subject that has been ignored by the church because of the discomfort the subject causes.  I have determined that over the next few months, I am going to do a lot of research on the matter.  Whether or not I could write a book worthy of being published on this subject at this point in my life, I don’t know.  I have had no personal experience in this area and would find it difficult to adequately relate the material to people when all that I know is from what I have read.  That breaks every rule that I have as an author, because I do not want to base my understanding of anything on hearsay.

One thing that has been of particular interest to me is telling people’s stories.  Matthew West recently recorded a record and wrote a book about this, where he asked that people send him their stories and that he would write about them.  I think this is an incredible idea because everyone has a story to tell of victories and losses, joy and sorrow.  I personally struggled for over a decade with depression, with thoughts of suicide and a short bout with an eating disorder, though it never had a chance to develop.  I have known others who have struggled with eating disorders, depression, and I lost a friend to suicide.  Especially among women, there seems to be a growing sense of despair and worthlessness.  I would love to write a book sometime focused on the stories of these women and how they have found hope, learned to accept God’s love, and now live purposeful and transforming lives.  I have a cousin who embodies this redemption story.  She has chosen to take the pain she has experienced and turn it into a way that she can help other women going through similar situations.

I don’t know what I should write about, and I still feel that what I have already written will be used someday.  I just needed to get this out, and if you have any feedback for me, please let me know!