Teach Me How To Trust

God,

Tonight I am truly fighting the lies.

Am I brave?  I think I’m a coward.

Am I beautiful?  I think I’m ugly.

Am I the real deal?  Something inside of me believes that I am a faker and I don’t even know it.

Sometimes I wonder if my life has made any difference at all.  I guess that is not up to me.

I think sometimes the hardest part of trusting You is putting my own faith in You on the line.  If by some chance You did not come through, then where would I be?  How ironic it is that faith does not become real until absolutely everything is at stake in Your hands.  I asked for this.  Why do I fight You when You answer?

Am I just grasping from You what I want to hear?  I need to know that it is You who is speaking to me.  I need to know that You believe in me.

I am stepping out in faith, believing that You will honor the desire of my heart to serve You.  More than anything in this life I want to know You and experience Your power.  I want to be in the flow of Your Spirit’s movement.  I want to be a part of Your Kingdom.

I choose to trust You, though I may end up looking like a fool.  Please don’t let me down.  Help me not to let You down.  Don’t let me bow down to the voices I hear telling me that I will never become what You made me to be.  Don’t let me give in to fear and insecurity.  Tomorrow is a new day with new promises and new mercies.  Help me learn how to believe the truth about myself that You lavish upon me every day.  Tune my ears to focus on Your voice alone.  Help me to follow You alone.

Teach me how to trust You.  Teach me that investing everything in You is worth it.  Show me once again Your faithfulness.  Come be the fire inside of me.  Be my passion again.  I’m diving once again into the mystery of You.  Hold me up.  Catch me.  You alone will receive all the glory from my life.

Dive

Steven Curtis Chapman

The long awaited rains
Have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
And carved their way to where
The wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains
I have been carried here to where the river flows, yeah
My heart is racing and my knees are weak
As I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back
Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice
That’s telling me it’s time
to take the leap of faith
So here I go

I’m diving in, I’m going deep in over
my head, I want to be
Caught in the rush, lost in the flow,
in over my head, I want to go
The river’s deep, the river’s wide,
the river’s water is alive
So sink or swim, I’m diving in

There is a supernatural power
In this might river’s flow
It can bring the dead to life
And it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing
Worth living and worth dying for, yeah
But we will never know the awesome power
Of the grace of God
Until we let ourselves get swept away
Into this holy flood
So if you’ll take my hand
We’ll close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on let’s go

I’m diving in