This morning I read an email that my friend sent me. She was talking about her brother and how she was moved to pray for him. There are things in his life that he values more than God and she was convicted about what she valued for him more. Did she pray for his physical well-being, or for whatever it would take to draw him closer to God, even if that meant losing all that was important and safe for him?
I was so convicted by this. Last night a friend of mine told me that I am a nearly impossible person to reach because of the "firewalls" I place around me. I realized this morning that there are few people in my life that I have ever allowed myself to love enough to have my heart broken in prayer for them. I have rarely ever allowed someone into the deep recesses of my heart. I have resisted allowing someone to know me for so long, and that has kept me from truly loving and caring deeply for others.
How do I change this? This sounds crazy, but I want my heart to be broken for others. I want to be woken up in the middle of the night because I hurt for someone that doesn't know the love of God. I want to not only pray that God will break through in their lives, but feel the pain of what could be if they don't ever come to know Him.
I guess this is my prayer right now, that God would teach me how to love. I pray that He will break down the firewalls that aren't necessary so that I can truly feel for those around me. It's a scary thing to pray, but if I want to truly love God, then I want to know how He feels toward His children: passion. Lord, give me a heart like Yours.
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